The Emancipation of Jun-jun

A picture can tell us 10,000 different stories, according to a Chinese proverb. Well I’d say a picture, specially those uploaded in my Friendster account represent either half-empty or half-full account of what really transpired on a given occasion.

There are a lot instances where I’d be in a pic with just 2 or 3 friends where I can genuinely say I was really really happy then, compared that to a picture of a big group of people (with me in it), with wacky poses that attempted to appear to be like a big happy family in the whole face of the earth see, when in fact the whole setting was more of a picture-taking set-up, nothing more, nothing less.

I just realized, while scanning through some of my pics- some of the happiest moments that appear on my FS account don’t suffice the kind of joy that I have when those were really happening. The energy, the outbursts of feeling could not be captured… In contrast, some pics where I and the group appear to be so cool and so close weren’t that cool at all and the closeness was merely for the fact that we all have to fit in the pic.

Call it superficial, but i guess that’s really how the world works. We take pictures of beautiful moments, where everyone appears to be happy and nice and cool, but we fail to see the stories behind that picture-taking session. The issues behind that day, that occasion. We fail to see, the kind of relationships the people in the picture have and it’s depth. We fail to see that while everyone else is smiling, there’s pain and a sense of uncertainty in the eyes of the people in it, which the mask of digital technology can never really hide, if we are just a little more observant.

I just learned recently
that Ayala and Anflocor, is developing a land area infront of
Redemptorist Church in Bajada, to be the next business haven of
Davao. I’m sure everyone’s excited to see an Ayala Mall in the
city. Probably by 2010, all roads will lead to this area, as it
becomes an astonishing landmark of the city. Flashback -1996. This
area used to be where we rent and operate a motor shop.

Oh yes! When that time
comes, when I get to see Ayala Mall in it’s towering pride, when
everything’s set , I’d probably still think that part of it is our
family’s history. Part of it is where my mom and my brother tried
their best to operate something and make it successful. Maybe, when
the mall opened, I would still think of the business (that my dad
financed), and which our family tried to run but unfortunately failed
to flourish.

Speaking of motorshops, we
also had a shop before in Bonifacio area which is a now a nursing
school. We also had an eatery in Ilustre area, which is a Persian
Restaurant at the moment.

Change indeed is the only
constant thing in this world, and I’m very happy to see all these
changes coming,  judging from all the developments, these places have
gone through – it’s all worth it.

The only change that I’d
probably have a problem accepting for now is the state of our
residential place before. We use to live in a compound, with my
Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins. For me, the place was perfect. I use to
think that our place is like a setting in a TV sitcom. We rented and
developed that land into a home. We built its foundation. We
propagated love (literally and figuratively). It is where I learned
the value of family, of friendship. It is where I learned the essence
of “Bayanihan”. It is where I spent my childhood.

Looking back, I could
still see the faces of my friends and of my cousins, as we run
through the street playing all day long. In my mind, I was in our
balcony at the second floor, recapturing the moment where I use to
take some fresh air, enjoy sights of green trees, of chirping birds
and seeing  the happy faces of our neighbors.

Present time - 2008. I
passed by the place again. Reality bites. What was left in that
place, I use to call home, is a huge empty warehouse standing still.

I just learned today that my good friend Rod, was automatically nominated to handle a team. He is now a Team Lea d and he got what he just wanted long time ago. I feel so proud and I have never doubted  - that he’ll get the post, the moment he decided to forget about QA and apply for the said position.

He is such a brilliant person and he deserve to be there. Well, there were three names mentioned who will make a giant leap in their careers come Monday, but I just think that one of them don’t really deserve the post. (But that’s another story though).

I hope I can be like Rod. He went through a slowly but surely route. He waited, worked his way up there. He did not earn that post because he made friends with this big person. He was not offered to a post just because of the relationships he created. More than anything else, he got his spot, because he worked his way up.

Looking within, evaluating my journey for the past few months. I am not sure though, if I really deserve my post. Agents call me "Sir Ely", but do I really live up to the title. Well I’m not saying that I am really that "huge" in our company, but hey!, they consider me an "Officer", therefore, I am a step higher than our agents.

Looking back in my personal history, I have won so many battles, because of well-thought strategies and well-orchestrated presentations. I can’t really say, that I’ve worked so hard to get where I am now. All I can remember was, I was just doing my thing - in fact  - most of the time, I’ve been to complacent and timid. I couldn’t remember a single time that I was so exhausted and so tired because I was pushing so hard to be on top.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons why, I cannot really feel the bittersweet feeling of getting a higher position, getting an increase or being recognized as somebody. I just can’t say that I have gone through what Rod has gone through nowadays….I’m so happy for him really…and it makes me feel so guilty!

Maybe, I have to really really work hard from now on, to really be worthy of what I have now.

I’m currently trying to lose weight.

Well I just realized that I’d look and feel a lot better if I’m a bit thinner. I thought before, that gaining weight would do me good, but a lot of people don’t actually like it, especially when they see my big bulges on my abs and sides.

Kinda weird cause in the past 4 years of my life, I’ve been eating a lot and I’ve been trying to sleep as much as I can, just make sure that I’d look round and lean. Unfortunately, the reviews are not quite good. MOst call me "butete", and I kinda look older with the fats. Some even associated me with someone I don’t really like(physically). Now I understand why people are so obsess getting thinner and getting fit. And I really appreciate those who were able to attain their targets, cause it’s not a joke, losing weight! whoooahh! It’s a torture! And you will really feel so deprive.

Good thing though, this rice crisis that the country is currently having, gave me another reason to pursue this diet that I’m currently working out on. I’ve been reducing my rice intake for months now and I think it’s working, cause people seem to notice the improvements so far. I’m so glad that I’m not affected at all with this crisis. In fact, my sisters and I have a no rice day or an arroz caldo for a meal, once in a while, to help augment the situation that we face as a country, and at the same stick to my plans of getting rid of those unwanted fats.

I’m so proud to be able to give favor to the country and at the same fulfilling my self plans! Talking about, hitting two birds with one stone huh!

This is probably the best time to express my gratitude to all the people who have been a part of my life for the past year….The people whom I’ve met and in a short span of time, have become my instant friends….

The more than one year stay at Link2Support was a rollercoaster ride, and although it was not the kind of job that I really wanted, in fact I dread the day I stepped into it’s portals, but the friends that I made there and the new experiences and knowledge I got was so precious, I’ll never replace that with any material things found in this planet (hmmmm, maybe for 130 million dollars, hehehhe, I might consider that!).

I wanna thank first of all, my friends at Team Massachusetts (what’s the spelling again?). I know training days was oh-so-hard and I know you all wanted to kill me for making it more tiring by annoying you all, but I know that you have learned to love me because of that…I know by now you all know that I was really joking right, when I tell you straight to your faces how stupid and dumb you were during our call sims…hehehehhe….kind regards to our trainors Ms. Dee and Sir Sherwin and to all the trainors, thanks for making me the #1 trainee for all batch 2 peeps (airhead! here we go again!).

The all the peeps I’ve met in CDO, RicPac, the TC’s and Batch 1, 1.5 and Batch 2. I miss CDO and I miss Iligan too! I’ve had the best December ever…because of you all!

To my first team on the floor Boston Red Sox….The #1 Team…the undisputed and the unbeatable…I never really liked you all, but I love the fact that I’m with the best team…I really feel elated everytime I see our stats and how we manage to be on top, for 11 out of the 20 weeks, during the first half of 2007. The transition, was really meant to disband the team and to smash our reign, but who cares! we made our mark and we are history in the making! Thanks for the good times….Our outings were the bomb! and our Team Lead is a sure bombshell as well…right Neil? I miss you all guys! I hope we could be together again…

To my second team, Ms. A and to the rest of the Big-mouthed Minnesota Twins…I’ve always been honest! I never liked you all, the first time I met you all, but first Impressions never last indeed, for I have learned to love, even your noise! I am so proud to be the most quiet person in the team…heheheh….Hope we could get together again and talk, laugh, talk, laugh, talk, laugh and talk and laugh again, like we always do.

To my QA family….Rod, Mellow, Alex, Mae, Ms.AK, Sir Lean and everyone at QA….It sure was a torture working in the office, with the quotas that we have to bear week after week, but I’ve learned a lot and I surely love the experience, without the quota, it could have been perfect bwhahahahah!!! Oh! I am such a stubborn boy! Sorry for failing in your expectations….But I sure will never fail you in my new job now…I promise that you’ll be proud of me in the new path that I’m taking…. Miss our hang outs and I miss annoying you with my practical jokes! Alex see you on March 3 , hehehhehe…..

L2S, thank you for all that you have imparted in me…for all the knowledge that you have bestowed….for the career growth…for making me a better person….I’ll be missing you…and leaving was such an agony….

I’ll see you around, and see you on top…wish you all the best!

Resigning from my job would probably be the bravest thing I’ve done in my life so far, and I feel good about that!

It is indeed a bold decision considering that I don’t have any option whatsoever up to this point. Yes sir! I was not pirated nor had another job right away after I resigned. It was a decision I thought, that would do others and me good…

Resigning from my job made me realize the importance of keeping yourself intact while having your tasks and duties everyday. I realize that it is vital, not to sell yourself short when you know in your heart that you are worth this much. Resigning made me think of me and my family and the path that we’re heading. It made me think of what lies ahead and what I can do to make all our dreams come true.

Others might think that I was crazy, jumping into the ocean without a boat to save me (or at least a life vest), but I believe doing so, helped me see the other side of me, and helped me thought, how important it is to be the very best in all the things that you do. More than ever, I realized how significant it is for anyone to enhance his or her skills and talents. – in this case, learning how to swim so as to save yourself, whenever the boat your in is sinking (in a way making sure that you’re geared up and solid to be able face anything and everything). It made me gauge as to how much I have learned and how much I have gained so far…

Well, the ship has not sunk yet, but I just feel that I have not been able to help make it float either…. might as well leave and find another ferry, where I can be of help…sail with it and make it pull through….

I’m in the center of another controversy (or am I just exaggerating things? heheheh).Well if you care enough, I’m sure by now you know that I was part of the top 6 finalist in the Pop Idol contest in our company which took place just last month. And among the perks of being a finalist, aside from the distinction that you are indeed one of those precious few who has that gift of voice and music (ahemm, thanks to videoke)- is to be a part of an elite group who will perform in a spectacular production number (or so I thought) this comingDec. 17 for our Company Christmas Party.

When I first learned that they are actually considering the group to be part of the party, I thought that it would be grand a number similar to that of SOP’s Back-to-back-to-back orASAP’s Champions Number…Of course I’ll be the Christian Baustista of the group (heheh), while the other peeps in the group will take the cue of Rachelle Ann, Sarah, Sheryn, Jedand Erik. I even thought that we will sing some Christmas songs to fill the air of The Venue, with harmony and meaningful songs for that night. I thought, it would be one of the highlightsof the night and the number that everyone should look forward to.

The five other finalist in the group are really really good. All of them would either be a band vocalist or a choir member. I’m the only lone wannabe singer in the group and veryvery proud to be just like that. I will be representing once again all the frustrated singers in the videoke bars, who keep those night joints filled with their ear-tearing and heartfelt shreiks and groans. I have the least vocal powers but I have all the charms so I really feel that I should be the Christian Bautista of the group.

Okay so we got our part and we even had our supposed meeting with the organizers of this show. We we’re asked for the songs that we would want to sing for the event. The organizers right then and there told us that Christmas carols will never have their day for the show. They said, since it’s a masquerade party then it should be within the confines of the theme. Okay fine!

So we suggested some songs. I first thought that it is some sort of a Mardi Gras, so a latin number would fit the occasion. Besides they are planning to have "Conga" as part of the  show. They gave us songs. We suggested some. Made a compromise. Agreed. Then went on to look for the lyrics. Then a close door meeting happened while the 6 of us looked for the said songs on the internet. This star-complex creature who happens to be the head of the organizers asked the admin staff of our company to change the songs and insisted that his songs be the ones we should sing.That was really a blow for us, esp. for me. I have never seen such injustice coming. It was a martial rule at it’s fineest and it was really an awful thing to do.

I wish I have said what was on my mind at that time to stop this bruhaha, that’s been happening with the organizers. Now they are really angry at me, for spreading talks about their ways of organizing stuff and for telling everyone that they failed to come up with a decent show that stick to the real essence of the theme.

The theme is "Masquerade"- think of Van Helsing, Phantom of the Opera, or Moulin Rouge. That’s the theme but they have a "Wowowee" type of opening number. The sound is so latin-flavored and you’ll really think that it’s Mardi Gras. Our production number on the otherhand is a chopsuey mix of songs - with no relation to the event whatsoever. Spandaue Ballet’s "Gold", Diana King’s "Shy guy" and Patti Labelle’s "Lady Marmalade".- what a mix! gosh!

I use to work as a DJ so I know music more than anyone in that group of organizers. I think what they need now is an open mind - that is open to criticisms and suggestions. Stop this getting mad at the critic and work on the things that they say. They may have suggestions that would help you out in the end. Stop being too narrow-minded and stop being a dictator.I know it’s not easy to organize such a big event, that’s why I never joined in the first place, but it won’t hurt to listen.

"I feel the change comin’…I feel the wind blow…I feel brave and daring…I feel my blood flow….with you I could bring out all the love that I have…With you there’s a heaven, so earth aint to bad!"

Indeed earth ain’t so bad yesterday, as I braved and dared to step in to the stage of L2S Pop Idol, a singing competition organized by our company for it’s employees - I made it to the final 6 of the contest which gave me the chance to show off the voice that’s long been hidden (ahem). And I feel that I never failed to take on the challenge.

There was no wind at that moment but it felt like there were confettis falling all over and sparks of lights and glitter as I hit those final notes in the bridge of Barry Manilow’s "Weekend in New England" - I started off as my pirated karaoke VCD (which I borrowed from a neighbor) skipped the first verse of the song, but as any professional singers (and wannabes like me) do - the show must go on, so I didn’t mind the technical glitches but continued to sing like nothing bad had occured.

I was satisfied with my performance, although my voice sounded shaky at time. I think it was due to lack of sleep and the fact that I never had the chance to rehearse the song at all. But I am happy because I never slipped a note and I never messed up Mr. Manilow’s top 10 hit.

So we started of as 6 finalists (3 male and 3 female contenders) and we were trimmed down to 3 - I never made it to the final 3 as expected, but I am contended with what I’ve shown that night. The other five contenders are either choir members or lead singers in a band. I am there to represent all the frustrated singers in the videoke bars (there is still a chance for all of us indeed). That night the divas swept off all the male singers as the 3 ladies get in to the top 3.

The truth is, there is a part in me that doesn’t have the urge to get in to the top 3 because I know, the next level of competition will definitely ruin my reputation. The final 3 shall sing "This is the moment", and sad to say my vocals doesn’t have the capacity to hit the final notes of this song. It would have been a nightmare, getting in to the top 3 with me messing up this Erik Santos’s grand champion piece. Of course the part of me that has all the hopes for the top 3 spot was because of the money heheheheh….Other than that, it was a blessing and what I just hoped for.

I stopped singing when I was 10 years old and I just held the mic again some 3 years ago, in a videoke bar of our former boss, where we use to hang out. I never thought that after so many years, I’ll be singing again in contest and after all the anxiety that this contest had brought in me for the past week, I’m glad that it ended in a grandiose moment - with me delivering a decent performance.

My new job description has eaten up a lot of my time lately and I feel that it brought up so many weaknesses that I haven’t seen in me for years (or shall I say, flaws that’s been dormant and has suddenly awaken due to the new tasks and duties that I have to deal with everyday)

This new job requires me to be prompt. I have to be on time. I have to make sure that every detail is done and good. And yes, I have to make sure that I’ll be analyzing and thinking - in short, I have to use my brain - again.

I could no longer even remember the last time I used this brain for a stimulating and hardcore analysis and comprehension. It has always been my dumb, lazy-hazy self, when I wake up in the morning  (or when I fell asleep in the morning - it would actually depend on my shift).

Truth is, I have always been the hesitant learner. I dread hours of studying and studying. I have never liked school eversince and my theory has it that mom has something to do with it.

My mom is a school teacher. When I was in grade school, whenever our teacher tells us to submit something at a particular date, my  mom would usually complain, telling us what these papers has got to do with our lessons - to that some effect my mom instilled in me, that these are just bunch of teachers that shouldn’t be taken seriously -she’ll just talk to them if there’ll be any further concerns.

Unknowingly, a monster within has been created and I am now in a struggle to keep away from it.

I remember getting late all the time, when I was in grade school, high school or even in college, because my mama told me that, my teachers should be considerate to their students, just like how she is with her students. At a young age, the idea of punctuality has never been instilled in me and cramming is always the name of the game.

I don’t wanna put all the blame to my mom. In fairness, my mom just wanted us to be the normal kid that we should all be - happy, calm,  worry-free and at peace. Mama wanted all of us to be free from the chains of competitions and pressures. My mom doesn’t want us to feel deprived of our youth - I guess thats the main reason why she let us let loose and be the happy-go-lucky person that I am until now.

My new job assignment, tells me that I have to adjust now or I’ll be left out. My new job, tells me that I have to eradicate all those negative attitude towards work and compete, be the best at all times and have that decaying brain placed into good use again - if ever there’s still left to it.

The war within my self has just started and I feel like, at an early stage, I am losing the battle…the odds are no longer with me…And I have to strategize to able to turn the table.

I don’t know. I guess I just have to fight my sleepy sloppy self again during my night’s shift- that’s the first thing that I have win over to get me started in the first place.

I just made it to the top 5 slot of those who applied in a different position in our company. It is the post that I’ve wanted ever since I learned that  the said job is existing.

I could still remember the day in CDO when I first encountered the room of ten people, who seem to be like in a music booth, listening to their favorite songs. I thought they were DJ’s, but they are some kind of a specialists- they’re the ones who make sure that each agents in the company would be following the procedures and protocol on call. They monitor calls and they give scores to those they capture on call.

I think it would be fun, and next to being a DJ, it is one of the best job there is on earth! You would be listening to your colleagues on the floor and I would expect bloopers along the way. I’d imagine myself now, writing and collecting some call center bloppers and I might get some of it in the end (I’d probably publish a book , heheheh)

Anyways, I just had my interview 2 days ago,and sad to say, it was a mess. I was so sleepy, during the interview since I just got out from an exhausting graveyard shift. I just wish I could turn back time and made sure that I answered each question with much confidence and sense.

My team mates say, if it’s for me, it’s for me, if not…then it’s not really meant to be! But I really want this job…And I don’t know where will I be, if I didn’t make the final cut.