The Emancipation of Jun-jun

My new job description has eaten up a lot of my time lately and I feel that it brought up so many weaknesses that I haven’t seen in me for years (or shall I say, flaws that’s been dormant and has suddenly awaken due to the new tasks and duties that I have to deal with everyday)

This new job requires me to be prompt. I have to be on time. I have to make sure that every detail is done and good. And yes, I have to make sure that I’ll be analyzing and thinking - in short, I have to use my brain - again.

I could no longer even remember the last time I used this brain for a stimulating and hardcore analysis and comprehension. It has always been my dumb, lazy-hazy self, when I wake up in the morning  (or when I fell asleep in the morning - it would actually depend on my shift).

Truth is, I have always been the hesitant learner. I dread hours of studying and studying. I have never liked school eversince and my theory has it that mom has something to do with it.

My mom is a school teacher. When I was in grade school, whenever our teacher tells us to submit something at a particular date, my  mom would usually complain, telling us what these papers has got to do with our lessons - to that some effect my mom instilled in me, that these are just bunch of teachers that shouldn’t be taken seriously -she’ll just talk to them if there’ll be any further concerns.

Unknowingly, a monster within has been created and I am now in a struggle to keep away from it.

I remember getting late all the time, when I was in grade school, high school or even in college, because my mama told me that, my teachers should be considerate to their students, just like how she is with her students. At a young age, the idea of punctuality has never been instilled in me and cramming is always the name of the game.

I don’t wanna put all the blame to my mom. In fairness, my mom just wanted us to be the normal kid that we should all be - happy, calm,  worry-free and at peace. Mama wanted all of us to be free from the chains of competitions and pressures. My mom doesn’t want us to feel deprived of our youth - I guess thats the main reason why she let us let loose and be the happy-go-lucky person that I am until now.

My new job assignment, tells me that I have to adjust now or I’ll be left out. My new job, tells me that I have to eradicate all those negative attitude towards work and compete, be the best at all times and have that decaying brain placed into good use again - if ever there’s still left to it.

The war within my self has just started and I feel like, at an early stage, I am losing the battle…the odds are no longer with me…And I have to strategize to able to turn the table.

I don’t know. I guess I just have to fight my sleepy sloppy self again during my night’s shift- that’s the first thing that I have win over to get me started in the first place.